Monday 25 April 2016

Where do you see yourself in 1/3/5/10 years?


Whenever I hear the question 'Where do you see yourself in X (usually an odd number, unless it's a nice number like 10) years?', my head voice goes:

Congratulation! 
You just hit my top most hated question for an interview! 


I got it several times during my job search days last year, and memorably once with this particular hiring manager of a reputable MNC. I don't think she liked me right from the beginning, cos I certainly didn't. She was so unbelievably full of herself, folding her arms, sizing up people  from the corner of her eyes and all. 

So when that 'WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN 5 YEARS' question came along, I just couldn't take it anymore. 

I looked at her - I think my disdain for her professionalism (or lack of) was rather evident as this point - and said, "If you are really looking for a honest answer from me, I would have to say I really have no idea. Right now I am a fresh graduate, I still have so much to learn about the job and the industry, let alone discovering my forte and potential. I -" 

"Alright in that case, then I don't think this role is very suitable for you", she said, cutting me off mid-sentence. 


Seriously, she went through a formal education on Human Resources Management (well that is an assumption ofc) and THIS was the best she could do?! 

Alright I GET IT. She might have wanted to see if I was a realistic yet ambitious person, and to judge if THAT level of ambition was appropriate to the role. But asking that question was just downright meaningless

First of all, the candidate would never have the full information to give you either an honest or meaning answer. How was I supposed to know what I would be doing unless I actually start doing the job? It's like everyone perceive the task of being a teacher is to teach, but the truth is Singapore teachers spend almost an equal amount of time doing paper works. So was she asking me to give her an summary of my career plan based on my fresh-grad understanding of the job?

Second of all, let's say I actually said boring things like "I plan to get my basic skills and knowledge familiarized enough for the first year. For the next two years, I would aim to challenge myself by moving beyond my stipulated responsibilities and be more involved in the decision-making process. Next I would....(insert vague-sounding bullshit that has no basis)". Would she then tailor the progression of that role to my answer? Well yes, only if I am that one (or 10) person in the world who can do that particular job. So if she's not going to do that, wouldn't it be more meaningful for both of us if she were to tell me honestly what the company has in plan for the role that I was applying for? 

To be honest, if I were a hiring manager (and I was actually forced to ask this question) and someone actually answers with a full elaborated x-years plan, I would offer him/her an agreement right on the spot based on exactly what he/she just said - nothing less nothing more. I can be 100% sure that it would make them doubt their answers RIGHT AWAY

Why?

COS NO FUCKING PERSON CAN KNOW WHAT THEY WANT TO DO IN THE FUTURE UNLESS THEY ARE JUST FUCKING BORING! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I FEEL LIKE EATING TOMORROW, AND YOU ARE ASKING ME MY PLAN FOR 365 x X DAYS?!

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?

All in all, HR managers who ask that question give me this impression that they are just too lazy to do their job - which is fundamentally to use their professional eye to sieve out traits in the candidates that would be a good fit for the role and also the company. These traits could not be derived from their resume, nor by a mere one-liner question like that.


To cap things off, here's a video by Anna (yes you are right, we are on first name basis. If you count how much of my life was spent listening to her) on the same fucking question. UGH.


Tuesday 19 April 2016

Please Don't Stop Wandering



For the past 9 months, I have unconsciously morphed into the typical corporate person that I had detested the most since my school days.


  1. I wear light makeup to work everyday - those kind just enough to tell the world that I am presentable and trashy.
  2. I wear booooring office dresses - black, grey, navy, knee-length, pleated, tweed... and blend in perfectly into a iStock office photo.
  3. I wrap myself with a shawl at work due to the merciless air-con and when I get out for lunch, I avoid outdoor places cos the heat is out to bake me.
  4. I get bored at work most of the time and start to blog more frequent, but at times I get so busy that I can hardly squeeze for time to gorge down my lunch.
  5. And the sad truth is, I busied myself out doing absolutely valueless things most of the time - gathering news, updating database, generating excel tables, sending chaser emails etc.

So when I came upon this photo of myself wandering along some Norwegian streets, I felt something in my mind. Something that feels really distant but nonetheless precious.

How I miss that self of me. 

I was inquisitive, my mind was fresh and energized. There seemed to be meaning to my every day and every day was passed memorably. 


Is that kind of life only possible when one is young and carefree?
Does growing up mean to become dull and losing that shine in one's soul?
It's hardly a year, what would I be at the end of my life?

Friday 15 April 2016

What would time do to you

"time is TIME" installation at MDW2016 by Citizen. 


On this date a month ago, I was having a day that could only be described as agonizing at the very least. 

A month later today, I am here sitting at my desk, pressing on my chin pimple and feeling my pulses underneath it (which is making me slightly irritated. It's as if my pimple is silently morhphing into its own life and devising an eventual coup d'etat against me). 

One more month later on the 15th May, I will be having a severe post-holiday blues from a 2-week Taiwan trip (IMMASHOEGGPSYTA!!).


Such, is the nonchalance of time. 

It has no concern of your state at the current moment, let alone promising to give you the same thing again after a fixed (yet insignificant - cos really, what makes one year so remarkably different from one year and one day) interval of time.

Thinking on this line of thought, it seems like wedding anniversaries are as commercially manufactured as Valentines' Day. 

OKAYZ REALISATION ON HOW LIFE HAS CHEATED US ALL ENDS HERE.
NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE WEEEEKEND!

On this note, isn't it funny how human pretend that they only have 2 precious days of weekend by voluntarily depriving themselves and planting their asses in offices for the other 5 days? And yet they are always overjoyed when they claim back the 2 days which they already had in the first place.

somebardy stops me here plz.

Friday 8 April 2016

What really matters at the end of the day


I disappeared from many for a good quarter of the year, and even for those occasions that I was around for, I was barely there. 

There's no other reasons, I was just downright lost and devastated. I could no longer hold small talks with people, or function in a social context, or entertain superficial relationships. I could hardly face a new day every morning. I had no words for myself, or I could do was to put 'Till it happens to you' on an excruciating torturous repeat and feeling every word and motion carving onto my heart. 


It was so unimaginably hard. 
I was this close to plunging into the deep.

Then slowly, things started to turn around.

Definitely not a single bit easy, but loved ones - deeply loved and precious ones - pulled me through. With their understanding, patience, and endless sea of love. Life feels slightly easier than the day before, and I feel slightly stronger to be able to take the day after. I have no intention to tell people what had transpired, all I could say is that it's as if I was made to grow up overnight - a torrent of issues came flooding into my life one after another, and they overwhelmed me entirely. Entirely.

The chapter was not over for me, in fact it started a whole new book for me. It is the crucible of my life, and will always be. I suffered greatly, but I too have learnt greatly. 

And on the nights where my lover and I cooked under the setting sun and the rising stars, the heat from the fire warming up our bodies while we drank wine from plastic bottles, I felt easy.

Easy to be happy. 
And to be very happy. Soon.




Monday 4 April 2016

[Part II: 5 Days in Northern Thailand] Chiang Mai - Pang Mapha - Pai - Mae Hong Son

I had a trip to Northern Thailand sometime in early Dec. See Part I for Day 0 to Day 2 (Dramas guaranteed), this post covers the second half of my trip so let's go!

DAY 3: Around Mae Hong Son

Introducing our lovely place in Mae Hong Son:
MAVA MUSCOSA GUEST HOUSE!


It's a very lovely hut/cottage concept and when this view greeted me in the morning, I knew my day was just gonna get better from here.



Wandered around the city and found ourselves up in the hill at Wat Phra That Doi Kong Mu. It's a beautiful white temple overlooking the city town and there was a cafe called the "Sunset Cafe", where the name itself was pretty self-explanatory. 


There are a lot to do/see at Mae Hong Son - hill-tribe village visiting, waterfalls, trekking, caves etc. But after a soul-damaging 10-hour ride (See Day 2 in Part I), all we wanted to do was to ride around randomly at our own pace into some nearby villages. 

Every picture looks like a postcard.


I had the BEST surprise when we got tired and returned back to our place.
WE FOUND PUPPIESSSS!!! 

Next thing I know, I was in heaven.



Spent the rest of my afternoon playing with them and napping in the sun.
THAT's how you should holiday.


Went back to the temple place again cos F wanted to get some sunset shots. 
The sky was on a glorious fire, and it was so beautiful. Like as if the day was mustering everything that it had and giving its last shot, burning ferociously for the one last time.

None of the photos are edited. So just imagine that beauty.


We stayed a little more till the night and were rewarded with a night of stars, with a guest appearance of fireflies, and me trying to start soulful conversations (and failing) while F being engrossed in his long exposure shots. It was quite an out-worldly hour, in the good way of course.


Then we went to the night market at the city's central lake, where the boys played games under their parents' cart...


..and motorbikes exploded...


..and temple bells jingled..


..and Thai kids contributing to phone addiction statistics while still sucking on his milk bottle..


..and some late Loi Krathong celebrants released their sky lattern and nearly burning it down cos they were taking too long with their selfies ..

..and concluding the day with a scenic shot featuring our dinner (aka BBQ eggs, fried bees and deep-fried veggies)

We could have done so much more if we weren't too traumatised by the previous day and had more time, but hey, sometimes it's indeed the journey that counts.

I learnt to take rest after a draining day, that's something I wasn't used to do. Vacation is not all about checking off the list and chasing adrenaline after all. 
And always, ALWAYS play with puppies. 

DAY 4: Mae Hong Son to Pang Mapha 


First thing to do when I woke up: PUPPPPIES!!

Had a warm sunny breakfast under the sun with the puppies and started our winding road back again! HELLO BUTT SORE (again)!



We struck jackpot again with our accomodation. 

Let me present you the 'Little Eden Guesthouse'
We had a really really cosy little hut, and there's a sunny pool outside, and BEST of all, I lovelovelove the common lounge! It was right beside a lake and some forested area. You could have a beer while swinging on the hammocks, but I chose a two-hour nap instead (not really, the nap chose me). 




We hopped on our little scooter and went scooting around the fields, the hills and the villages nearby. There were a lot of trekking and mountains around for the catching sunrise and sunset, but they required a little travelling and our butts were way too abused to sit on the bike any longer. 


I was posing with the setting sun in between my fingers and it bore some resemblance to diamond rings. That when I decided to make it bigger.






The day soon ended with tummies full of random food.

DAY 5: Pang Mapha to Pai


After a quick bite of breakfast, we were back to the road for Pai again. This time, it was freezing cold along the way and that familiar feeling of fixing our eyes on the road and trying hard not to die was back again. I fell off the bike halfway and landed on my butt. I cried a little bit and F got freaked out hahhaha.





Pai!!!



The EASY Guesthouse Errbady!

It was a really rustic little place but comfortable enough to take a rest for a day or two. It was right in front of Wat Phra That Mae Yen Temple, which we should have climbed if we weren't so busy being lazy. 


I would recommend taking this road to get through Pai, it's called the 'rural road' and though it is slightly longer than the 1095 highway, the scenery definitely made up for it. 





Pai is a popular destination among the northern Thailand travellers, and it has flights coming in mainly from Chiang Mai. But the town itself is so small that you would have to drive passed the airport once or twice on your way around Pai. 


We headed for the Pai Canyon in the afternoon and I like it soo much there! You will see why in a minute.
One thing to note is that the place is quite sandy and there is no handles or safety structures at all, so proper shoes are a must. 







F decided to not carry on with the hike when he saw the vertical drop cos of his cameras and all. So I abandoned him hahah 



The canyon was hell of a climb! 
I had to use all four limbs at many points and the path got more and more unwalkable as one went in further. As much as I would like to know where my limit lies, I had to turn back cos '127 Hours' was starting to haunt my mind. 




There's me forgetting momentarily of my phobia for heights.
And that's me remembering it suddenly. 



We decided to catch the sunset at the canyon but it was still earlier, so we headed down to a nearby river to chill.





I got bored after some napping and selfies, and the river started to tempt me with its glistening water. So I decided to take a plunge. Literally. And it turned out to be a stupid idea cos the river was of walkable depth and I ended up with scrapped knees instead. 




The sunset at Pai was a very enjoyable one. Couples beside us were immersed in love and there were people singing and joking somewhere in the distance. The sun dyed everything a glory shade of gold, and added some dreamy rosy tinge to the clouds in the east. 


At that moment, I started to miss Thailand already. 



A quiet and beautiful ride back to our place. 



Went to the night market and amused myself with a bamboo cup. We hit some beers and avocados and our last night for the trip crept in before we knew it. 

DAY 6: Pai to Chiang Mai




Oh what's new. Turns and turns, uphills and downhills. 
This turn was painted red probably because some fatal accidents happened here before. F for some reason was especially intrigued by this turn. 




There's this part of the road that was extremely sandy due to the roadworks and I laughed when we stopped for a rest as F turned around showing his sunburnt face and dirty jacket.

The ride to Chiang Mai was tough as we had to ride under the noon blazing sun and the scenic view gradually died out and turned into monotonous city buildings. We had a quick bite at the local market and after a little bit of wandering, we bid goodbye to these very memorable times and places. 

Thank youThailand for not killing us, thank you F for almost dying with me.
I needed an escapade of nature and adventure, and this trip gave me a good dose of both.