Sunday, 10 May 2015

That Green Duck Wearing an Omelette

Almost a decade ago, we bought these rings for ourselves cos.. yea that's what Captain Planet and his gang did..and we were supposedly cool like them.

Alright, the point is, we decided to choose the rings randomly so we could get the one that was 'meant to reflect our true selves'

Should have known better.

While everyone else got cute bunny, monkey, koala bear and teddy bear,
I got this.

A GREEN DUCK with an OMELETTE on its head.
Decorated with VEGGIES underneath. 
Of course right, cos who eats wears omelette without veggies right ughh you craaazy peoplezz hmpff~

"Meant to reflect our true selves"...


I took a while to love my new-found identity and after years, I actually really think it's quite cute. And then by a rare chance, I FINALLY figured out what it is supposed to be. 


It's a KAPPA, a Japanese folklore character.
And here's what a Kappa is:

"An aggressive salamander that grabs its prey with its powerful jaws"

"Mischievous troublemakers or trickster figures, their pranks range from the relatively innocent, such as loudly passing gas or looking up women's kimono, to the malevolent, such as drowning people and animals, kidnapping children, and raping women."

 "They are sometimes said to take their victims for the purpose of drinking their blood, eating their livers, or gaining power by taking their shirikodama, a mythical ball said to contain the soul, which is located inside the anus."

"It was believed that, if one was confronted with a kappa, there were a few means of escape. Kappa are obsessed with politeness, so if a person makes a deep bow, it returns the gesture, the water in the plate on its head spills out and it is rendered unable to leave the bowing position until the plate is refilled with water from the river in which it lives. If a person refills it, the kappa will serve that person for all eternity."

"They are curious about human civilization, and they can understand and speak Japanese. They may even befriend human beings in exchange for gifts or offerings of nasu (Japanese eggplant), soba (buckwheat noodles), nattō (fermented soybeans), or kabocha (winter squash), but especially cucumbers, the only food kappa are known to enjoy more than human children."

"Once befriended, kappa may perform many number of tasks for human beings, such as helping farmers irrigate their land. Sometimes, they bring fresh fish, which is regarded as a mark of good fortune for the family that receives it. They are also highly knowledgeable about medicine, and legend states that they taught the art of bone setting to human beings."

Noooooww THIS is so much better!
At least now it has some dimensions to its being, unlike some nonsensical green duck that wears an omelette. 

In a way, it really did "reflect my true self", but not really for the eating soul-containing ball inside anus part. Yea..not really for that.

Well, I admit I am fully capable of being heartless, especially to unworthy people who had wronged me again and again and again. But IF you give me sincerity and politeness - like yknow, refilling the plate on my head or feeding me cucumbers - you'd be guaranteed that I will irrigate your land, bring you fresh fishes, set your bones (or whatever that means), and ofc, serve you for all eternity

For better or worse, this Kappa is now in your life.