Wednesday, 18 November 2015

My Aspiration

For many weeks, I couldn't seem to feel my spirit. I know I sound incredibly hipster-ish saying things like this, but to the depth of my heart I swear that it is the closest depiction I can muster to describe whatever that I was feeling.

Probably due to the immense amount of introspection and self-reflection that were bursting inside my head as triggered by the annual birthday reminder of how yet another year of my life has passed, this feeling has gotten worse in recent days. To such an extent that I couldn't seem to be able receive the words of my lover completely - it was as if his words were literally bouncing off my skin - and I couldn't be truly present during the conversations with my friends.

Once again, I was starting to feel lost about life because I saw no directions on my compass.That's when I knew I had to address the elephant in the room, and that is what is it that I really aspire to do with my life at this point of time? 

After a good few hours, I found my exact answer in a serendipitous search that led me to Zach Ingrasci's words

To pursue the intersection of the creative arts, business and sustainable development.

The omission of any of the three components in the work that I do will thenceforth make that seed of dissatisfaction sprout in my heart, slowly eating my spirit away, leaving me in unalive and unhappy.

I do not know how to tell you how important this realization is to me. It's like I have truly, finally found the words to answer the question of "So, what is it that you wish to do?". There are only these few essential questions to a person's life and this is easily tops the list in many cases. 

I then went to check out on Ingrasci's notable documentary: Living On One (Full video here).


Here's a trailer of it

Though in my opinion, this film could have been made with the objective to promote microfinancing (particularly to show (exaggerate?) the impact of it by Grameen Trust) since one of its directors had worked for them before, it still managed to provide me with the much needed reminder that life has so so much more to my current petty dissatisfaction with my circumstances. 

Questionable agendas aside, it was a very direct documentary where you can actually feel life itself hitting you in the face. The kind of life you thought you know about because you had read it in the newspapers, the kind of scenery that you had imagined your dream hut was built on, the kind of simplicity that could just move you to your tears. 

And last but not least, I admire that flaming spirit of the directors.

Today I found the exact words to my aspiration.
Today shall thus be a day to be remembered.